Too Online to Function
You ever open your phone to reply a message, and next thing you know, it’s 40 minutes later, your battery is crying for help, and somehow you’ve watched three people clean their houses, one girl make jollof rice with coconut milk, and a full sermon on productivity? Meanwhile, the message you came to reply? Still unread.
Let’s call it what it is: your brain is tired. Not from work. Not from Lagos traffic. But from screen time. Notifications. Group chats titled “Important 🙏🏽🔥🔥🔥” that have zero important information. WhatsApp statuses that are mini TED Talks. IG stories that test your thumb’s stamina. And voice notes so long, you forget why you even pressed play It’s giving overstimulated and underpaid.
And don’t get me started on Zoom meetings. You log in with good intentions, hoping to “contribute” and “stay engaged,” but 10 minutes in, your soul has quietly left the chat and is currently wandering the streets of Enugu looking for peace.
What’s worse? Even rest now feels like a chore. “Watch something light” turns into bingeing a whole season. “Let me check TikTok real quick” turns into emotional damage by 1:32 a.m. You want to sleep but your brain is still scrolling in your dreams.
So if you feel constantly drained, irritated by emojis, or violently allergic to Google Calendar reminders congrats, you’ve hit that sweet spot called digital burnout. The cure? Touch grass. Drink water. Charge yourself instead of your phone for once. The internet will survive. And if it doesn’t? Well, that’s not your business.

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